Q&A Answers!

qaGood morning, everyone!
You sent them, it’s time to answer!!!

1) I ended up having an embarrassing moment and caught my son doing stuff with another man. I think he might be gay, but there is a way I can tell for sure?

The only way to know for sure is to ask him! I know that might seem like something you don’t want to talk about, but there’s no other way to absolutely know unless you do. Your son may be bisexual, bi-curious, pansexual, or even simply experimenting with his sexuality! None of those things mean that he’s homosexual, even if he does include men in his sex life. Coming out can be a difficult thing for people, so if you do decide to ask him be sensitive – no matter how he identifies, he likely didn’t want you to find out that way.

2) How healthy is it to masturbate while in a relationship? I know it sounds weird…but it feels kind of like cheating. 

Well, I can tell you that masturbation is not cheating. I always like to say that cheating is in the eye of the beholder- some people think certain things are cheating that other people don’t. That being said, if your partner thinks that you masturbating is cheating, that is simply not true! Masturbation is normal and healthy regardless of if you’re in a relationship or not.

It’s okay to masturbate and not have sex with your partner! Don’t let anybody make you feel that if you’re in the mood that means that you have to have sex. Sometimes people don’t want to have sex but still want to have an orgasm (or two), and that’s okay!

That being said, if you find that you have some kind of addiction to masturbation and porn, are only masturbating and never want to have intercourse with your partner, there may be some underlying issue that you need to explore.

3) My boyfriend is interesting in trying out rimming, but I really don’t want to go down there. Is there any way to make it less gross?

Well, first of all, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If the taste is the only thing putting you off though, then you can actually do quite a bit to help combat that! A lot of people report rimming as a very satisfying experience for both partners.

First of all, the person receiving the rim job should be courteous and make sure the area is clean and washed. It’s as simple as using a baby wipe, some antibacterial soap, or starting rimming fresh out of the shower. You can even douche if you like, a lot of people probe inside the anus with their tongue during rimming, but that’s a personal choice!

The second thing that can help is a flavored lubricant. Not only will it make the area more slippery and easier to get to, it will provide some flavor to help mask anything unfavorable in that area. Though if the anus is nice and clean, there shouldn’t be any issues. After all, the anus is just skin like the rest of the body!

 

That’s all we have time for today, but if you have any other questions be sure to save them for the next time we do Q&A!

-Laysha

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Anal 101

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Interested in trying anal sex? We’re here to help! This is our ultimate guide to anal! Even if you’re experienced, you might get a few tips and tricks!

F.A.Q.

Frequently Asked Questions

Isn’t anal sex gross?

It doesn’t have to be! With proper hygiene (which we’ll discuss further on) and care it can actually be an extremely clean experience. Most people believe that anal sex is gross or dirty, but you might be surprised by how enjoyable the experience can be!

Does it hurt?

It shouldn’t! While you may find it a little uncomfortable your first few times (which is perfectly normal), it should never hurt! If it is, you need to discuss with your partner to figure out why. Perhaps you need more lubricant, or you moved too fast!

If a guy enjoys anal, does that make him gay?

Absolutely not! Liking anal sex doesn’t make a man homosexual – if a man has sexual interests in men (and only men) that would give reason to identify as homosexual. Otherwise, the male pleasure spot (the prostate) is located inside the anus, so it’s only natural for men to enjoy anal sex!


Getting Started

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While some people don’t feel the need to do this, if you are nervous about the anus being clean, you can always douche! A douche is a device that introduces a stream of water into the anus which helps clean out the anal cavity!

How to use: Simply fill the bulb with a liquid of your choice (warm water works perfectly, but some people prefer soap and water), insert the tip into the anus and squeeze the bulb. The water will fill the anal cavity, and from there you can remove the douche and expel the water. Do this a few times for best results.


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Lubricant is extremely important for anal sex! The anus does not lubricate like the vagina does, so it requires lubricant to keep it slippery. Using a good amount of lubricant will decrease friction and make anal sex a more comfortable, enjoyable experience!

We recommend the use of a thick, water based lubricant for anal play. The thick lubricant won’t dry up as easily, decrease mess, and offer more cushion for comfort. Silicone lubricant is also great for anal sex as it stays slippery for longer, but you should clean out the anal cavity afterward with a douche if you use silicone for your anal play!

Tip:There is no such thing as using too much lubricant for anal play. In fact – if you think you have enough, always add more!



Toys

Important!!

Any toys used for anal play must have a base or loop on the bottom! This base prevents the toy from disappearing inside of your anal cavity. It is not recommended to use a toy that doesn’t have a base for anal play!

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Anal beads are a great tool for training the anus. Anal beads come as a series of beads, which start smallest at the tip and grow in size towards the base. This makes them great for helping to stretch the anus to be more accepting of larger sizes!

Tip: Using anal beads can also help intensify an orgasm if you pull them out during an orgasm! The key to this is to remove them slowly – one bead at a time. Removing them too quickly can hurt, so make sure to remove them slowly!


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Anal plugs are often used as a training tool, or they create a feeling of fullness or stimulation through vibration! Anal plugs often come in different sizes, and start small and get larger for easy training! They also come in vibrating and non-vibrating varieties depending on your preference.

Anal plugs can come on their own, or in a kit that usually contains 3 different sized plugs for anal training! Most people use anal plugs when they’re beginning to try anal play, or simply enjoy the full feeling that plugs offer.


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There are anal toys out there just for men! The prostate, otherwise known as the male P-spot, is located inside of the anus. This P-spot, when massaged, can bring a man to orgasm, and is extremely pleasurable! If you’re a male looking to experiment with anal play, we recommend looking at a prostate toy!

Prostate toys are shaped differently than other anal plugs. They have a tip that’s curved specially to reach your prostate, where other plugs likely won’t reach.



Positions

Most people believe that doggy style is the best position for anal sex – that’s actually not true. The angle isn’t ideal due to the way the pelvis is positions. Check out the best 3 positions for anal sex below!


Tips

Other tips for making your first anal experience the best it can be!

1) Communicate with your partner: Communicating to your partner is the most important tip to having anal sex. They won’t know what you need if you don’t tell them. Need more lube? Let them know! Want to change positions? Tell them! Are they moving too fast? Mention it to them.

2) Start small: They key to comfortable anal play is to start small, then go bigger! Start with a pinky finger or small toy, and move up from there! Make sure to take plenty of time for the anus to stretch and get comfortable before moving up to something larger.

3) You don’t have to penetrate: Anal play doesn’t always mean penetration. If you’re not comfortable with that, it’s okay! The anus is very sensitive, so even just using vibration against the outside can be extremely pleasurable!

That’s all for today!

Until next time!

xoxoxo Laysha

Weekly Q&A

Hello everyone!
Do you have a burning question that you’re too shy to ask? Or do you have something that’s been on your mind for a while but you’re not sure how to mention it?
If you’re alive and you’re human, you probably have questions about sex!  The truth is – no one can know everything there is about sex and sexuality.  Here at Our Pleasure, we learn new things every day! We are not doctors or relationship gurus, but we will try our best to give you the best advice we can give!

Leave all your questions about sex, sexuality, sexual health, birth control, STI’s, and relationships below and we’ll answer them on Saturday! We’ll try to answer as many questions as we can, but if we don’t get to yours this week, don’t fear, we’ll make sure to answer it next Q&A! Rest assured it’s completely anonymous if you want it!

xoxo Laysha

Work It!

 

Favorite Lyrics:

“Not on the bed, lay me on your sofa
Call before you come, I need to shave my chocha
You do or you don’t or you will or won’t ya?
Go downtown and eat it like a vulture
See my hips and my tips, don’t ya?
See my ass and my lips, don’t ya?”

“Sex me so good I say blah-blah-blah
Work it, I need a glass of water
Boy, oh boy, it’s good to know ya”

Thoughts: 
Okay, I love how casual and free this song is. Missy doesn’t mess around, there’s no embarrassment and that’s pretty admirable. “Call before you come I need to shave my chocha?” That’s quite the bold statement – and I love it!
What do you think?
Until next time!
xoxo Laysha

Q&A Answers!

qaGood morning, everyone!
You sent them, it’s time to answer!!!

1) Hi! I am a trans gender ftm and would like to know if there is anything that exists to make it seem like I have bulge. is there any products that are out there? i always see many articles about mtf but not very many on ftm.

Actually, yes! There is a product that is designed specially to give ftm transitioners the look of a bulge. It’s called a Packer! It’s a flaccid (you can get hard ones for sexual intercourse, which is called packing hard) phallic object that you wear in the front of your pants to make it look like you have a penis or bulge! You can also get special underwear to put it through so it stays in place!

s-l3002) Is it better to shave off all your pubic hair or to keep most of it and trim it?

Whatever you want! The nice thing about deciding what to do with your pubic hair is that it’s completely up to you! There is no right or wrong way to do it! If you feel more comfortable shaving it all off then feel that breeze! If you would rather keep some of it, or not get rid of any at all, more power to you! It’s all about you and what you want! And honestly, partners rarely care about the state of your pubic hair.

Check out our blog: To Bush or Not to Bush

3) What’s an orgasm, exactly, and how do I know if I’ve had one?

 

You hear a lot of the time, that when it comes to orgasms, that if you have one you’ll know. That rings truth for some, and not for others. An orgasm is sort of difficult to describe, but the definition is an intense physical pleasurable feeling during masturbation or sex. Orgasms vary from person to person in every way shape and form. Some people have more powerful orgasms than others. Hell, sometimes you’ll have a more powerful orgasm from one you had a few days ago! It’s dependent on so many things. A sign to look out for is that your pelvic muscles are contracting and suddenly relax with a feeling of pleasure, and afterwards you twitch a little in your nether regions.

Your first time having an orgasms will usually yield a very similar response. “What the heck was that!?” If you asked that question, and you’re left twitching, you know you had one!

 

That’s all we have time for today, but if you have any other questions be sure to save them for the next time we do Q&A!

-Laysha

Visit us Online!

 

 

 

 

Can we talk about this vaginal selfie stick?

 

 

So on one hand I think that we, as a human race, have gone a little too far with vibrators. Why ever would I want to see the inside of my vagina while I masturbate? Not to mention I would need my computer RIGHT there in order to see everything.

On the other hand, they say innovation comes from necessity right? I could understand how watching your body orgasm could be an intense, intimate, and ultimately cool experience.

What do you think?

xoxo Laysha

Visit us Online!

Weekly Q&A

Hello everyone!
Do you have a burning question that you’re too shy to ask? Or do you have something that’s been on your mind for a while but you’re not sure how to mention it?
If you’re alive and you’re human, you probably have questions about sex!  The truth is – no one can know everything there is about sex and sexuality.  Here at Our Pleasure, we learn new things every day! We are not doctors or relationship gurus, but we will try our best to give you the best advice we can give!

Leave all your questions about sex, sexuality, sexual health, birth control, STI’s, and relationships below and we’ll answer them on Saturday! We’ll try to answer as many questions as we can, but if we don’t get to yours this week, don’t fear, we’ll make sure to answer it next Q&A! Rest assured it’s completely anonymous if you want it!

xoxo Laysha

Size Perfect – Lingerie 101

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Every person wants to feel beautiful in their sexy lingerie, but almost everyone is self conscious in some way, shape, or form. It’s natural to want to pick what’s going to look the best on you, but not everybody knows where to start, and seeing all the options can get confusing. We’re here for you! Check out our lingerie guide to get-to-know your sexy and find the perfect fit!


 

Types of Lingerie

The 4 most common types of lingerie you’ll see in store!

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A corset is a garment that is worn to hold in the torso and waist, usually for the purposes of achieving a smaller looking waist, lifting the bust, and creating an hourglass figure. They clasp or tie up for a custom fit and are usually very adjustable.

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A bustier, while very similar to a corset, is designed primarily for the purpose of lifting the bust and making the chest look bigger and fuller, while also gently shaping the waist. They have cups where corsets do not.

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A babydoll is a loose fitting, flowing garment that skims the hips. It’s more comfortable than a corset or bustier, and is fitted at the top and comes out towards the hips, giving a flattering fit.

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The chemise tends to be unfitted and flat and are designed to skim the natural curves. Traditionally worn as a sleeping garment, chemises are designed for comfort and beauty – though new designs are coming out every day!


Tip: Lingerie fits small, so always get a size larger than your normal clothing size!!


What is best for me?

Corsets

| Trims the waist |
| Creates hourglass figure |
| Hides tummy |
| Makes hips appear larger |
| Balances women with boarder shoulders |

Great for:


Bustiers

| Makes bust appear larger |
| Gently shapes the waist |
| Balances women with large hips |

Great for:


Babydolls

| Hides belly |
| Accentuates hips |
| Skims over body |
| Balances bust|

Great for:


Chemise

| Accentuate’s natural curves |
| Elongates body |
| Form fitting |
| Slims body |

Great for:

 

That’s everything you need to know about fitting lingerie!

Until next time!

 

xoxo Laysha

Check out our website : www.ourpleasure.ca

Q&A Answers!

qaGood morning, everyone!
You sent them, it’s time to answer!!!

1) I’ve recently started having sex for the first time, and I’m kinda worried. How long is sex supposed to last? I’m worried I’m blowing too soon… 

That’s more or less for your partner to decide! Everybody has a different idea about how long sex should be. Some people say that 10 minutes is plenty, while others wouldn’t go any less than 2 hours (yikes)! If your partner is satisfied after your sexual experiences, then that’s all that matters.

However, according to a study, 1-3 minutes is considered ‘short’, 3-7 minutes is considered ‘adequate’, 7-13 minutes is ‘desirable’, and ‘too long’ is around 30 minutes or so. Keep in mind this is just for sexual intercourse, and does not include the time for foreplay and other activity!

2) My boyfriend seems to be having trouble finishing…like, a lot. What’s going on?

There could be many reasons why your partner is having difficulty reaching orgasm. The most common reasons are stress or a wandering mind. Sometimes it can be hard to put yourself in the moment when your mind is travelling to work, and other home stresses. There are other cases, though more rare, where men have no difficulty getting aroused, but they have difficulty achieving orgasm. It’s called “retarded ejaculation”, and it could be due to many nerve related reasons. If you have worries that this is the reason, a visit to the doctor is suggested.

3) I’m really upset because my partner is having cyber sex with other people, but when I talk to her about it she insists she isn’t cheating! Is it? I can’t help but be really upset about it. 

If you feel that it’s cheating, then it’s cheating. Simple as that, no hesitation.

A lot of people feel as though as long as you’re not swapping bodily fluids or come in physical contact, then it’s not cheating. A lot of people think to the contrary – and there is such thing as emotionally cheating as well.

In the end, if what they’re doing makes you uncomfortable and hurts you, then it’s cheating. You get to decide where that line is, and when to draw it in the sand for your partner.

 

 

That’s all we have time for today, but if you have any other questions be sure to save them for the next time we do Q&A!

-Laysha

Visit us Online!

 

 

 

 

Sex Myths #Debunked

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MYTH: You can’t get pregnant if…

a) you “pull out”
b) woman is on your period
c) woman is on top
d) etc.

Fact is, all of those are false! You can get pregnant during your period. You canget pregnant if the woman is one top and you have a high chance of getting pregnant using the “pull out” method. Practice safe sex by using any form of contraceptive you choose – be that the pill, condoms, or other types of contraceptives.

MYTH: Vaginas loosen if you have a lot of sex.

Nope! The vagina is a muscle and has muscle memory, which means it shrinks back down after sex. As a woman becomes more aroused, the vagina reacts by expanding and becoming longer so that penetration is easier – it has nothing to do with how much sex a woman has!

However, your pelvic floor can be affected by things like childbirth, and if you are worried about the strength of your vagina you can exercise it! Use kegel exercisers 3 times a week to help strengthen your pelvic floor. (Tip: Doing this can lead to better sex and orgasms!)

MYTH: People with disabilities don’t have sex.

On the contrary, people with disabilities and other chronic illnesses can lead just as full and exciting sex lives as anybody else. With the increase of products available on the market, there’s a lot out there to help people of all kinds – from sex swings to positioning devices, all designed to help put you in position and make sex easier and more fulfilling.

MYTH: You can use any toy for anal play.

Please no! There are toys that are specifically designed for use in the anal region – and there’s a pretty big distinction! Anal toys all have a flared base that prevents them from slipping up into the anus and disappearing. If this happens to you, sometimes the only way to get the item out again is by a visit to the doctor, and no one wants that.

MYTH: Certain foods can get you in the mood.

This myth has probably been around the longest out of any of them. Some cultures said the rhino horn would cause virility in males, while others claim oysters really get you in the mood. Unfortunately, studies have shown no effects from these popular aphrodisiacs. That being said, if you had an erotic experience with a certain food, eating it again can cause feeling of arousal at the memory. That’s almost the same thing!

MYTH: Sex alone can bring women to orgasm

This myth is a half an half. Sex alone can bring some women to orgasm, but only a small percentage. Fact is, around 80% of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, and sex alone usually doesn’t cut it. Use fingers or a small vibrating toy to offer stimulation to the clitoris and increase a woman’s chance of orgasm tenfold! She’ll thank you for it.

That’s it for now! Until next time lovelies!

xoxo Laysha

Visit Us Online!