A Lust/Hate Relationship

Sometimes when I tell people I work in a sexual  health store, they reply, “Wow, you must be really into sex”! That is true, from the point of view that I love to talk to people and make them feel comfortable with their desires. But when you carry as many items as we do, inevitably there will be a type of product you’re not fussy on. For me, that product is pornography.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. I watch porn, on my own and with my boyfriend. I have the same fascination most people have with porn. What makes me uncomfortable is the misogyny I sometimes perceive in them.  When the women are talked down to by men, or pretend to be teenagers tricked into sex, it makes me uncomfortable.  I don’t think it’s wrong, as they are all consenting adults making their own choices, and I accept that not everyone shares my porn preference. It’s just not the movie I’d bring home for myself. Another thing I dislike about a lot of porn is their lack of imagination. The formula for so many of them is:


2)Penetrative sex, maybe 4 or 5 positions

3)Back to blowjob

4)Man ejaculates on woman’s face

This is not offensive to me, but it is boring! C’mon, switch it up a bit! I don’t have sex the same way every time, why would I want my porn to be the same?

Now, for the good part: There is high quality porn out there! Some of my favorites are the Pirates movies by Digital Playground. The women look healthy and happy, no one talks down to their sex partners, everyone looks like they’re having a blast, there’s a bit of romance, and the male leads are quite good looking! I also really liked The 8th Day by Adam and Eve Pictures. As well as some truly imaginative sex scenes there are moments of tenderness. And if you really want to switch it up, rent Shortbus , directed by John Cameron Mitchell and starring Canada’s own Sook-Yin Lee. While not technically a porn, it is one of the most sexually diverse movies I’ve ever seen, and has an awesome soundtrack too!

Happy Hunting!

– Roxy Rolla

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