Online Dating

In my opinion, any form of dating kind of sucks. Meeting new people, trying to find the right topic of conversation…Blah blah blah!
I love dating, can’t ya tell?
I’m the jaded sort…but (and there’s always a but) there’s hope and it’s called online dating.  I know this first hand.

Living in a small town can put a damper on the dating scene; it definitely does if you’re picky. So now, I’m all about online dating.  I guess I have a love/hate relationship with it.  Some days, I just wanna throw my computer out the window,  some days I want to hug it – I’m going through a hugging phase right now. I have my fingers crossed it stays that way(pray for me people!)
With anything, of course,  there are always pro’s and con’s.   I love that there’s not much stress when first striking up the conversation. It tends to flow easily, if you’re both interested in forming a ‘relationship’.  You get to meet people you would never have met before. You may even meet people that you will form friendships with and can’t live without.  I have one of those and I would be lost without him.  And the best of all??  If you hold out long enough, you may meet the one you’ll fall head over heels in love with.  (Even if he doesn’t know how you feel yet, unless he reads this first. Hehehe)
Thanks Plenty of Fish!

With all the good things being said, there can be a darker side to online dating.
One word…distance.
Distance sucks, especially if you meet someone and you are both totally interested in each other.  And by distance, I don’t mean the distance between Clarenville to St. John’s.
I’m talking the distance between provinces…or worst yet…countries. That’s distance!
And let’s not forget…married people!
Seriously? You’re married.
You remember that day don’t ya?
Exchanged wedding bands,  pictures were took left, right and center, pretty dresses and shoes…all that fun stuff.
What are you doing on an online dating site to begin with?
Another thing I despise about online dating?
People who only email me for sex!
I’m trying to date.  If I wanted a random hook up, I’d do the club scene.

Online dating has its risks, just like any kind of dating.  Some people may feel it’s embarrassing to have to resort to it, but it isn’t.
Who cares where you meet that special someone, as long as you’re happy.

Happy Fishing!!

– vee

6 thoughts on “Online Dating

  1. I met my fiance online. We’ve been together for a few years now and we’re getting married next year!
    Luckily, that was my successful conculsion to my online dating life.
    But it certainly wasn’t all roses. Like you said, there are men who are just contacting you for sex, married people, etc. Even when you start communicating in a meaningful manner and you decide to meet, it can still be pretty bad. Getting stood up is not fun. There’s also the creeps who want to meet you in a dark parking lot or insist that you get in their car (not going to happen asshole!).
    It can get pretty scary and you have to stay safe.
    Also, you can’t go into it blind, thinking “I’ll just look through profiles until I find one I like”. You’ll go batty!! You need to determine who you are and what you want in a man/woman. What are your “must haves” and your “would like to haves”? What are your “deal breakers” (for example: they smoke)?
    It’s a lot of work, but when you find that person – who is who they say they are, who makes your heart jump when you get an email from them, who you can’t wait to meet and get to know better, who makes you want to shout from the rooftops! Then you remember why you started doing this in the first place – and can hopefully stop doing it!

  2. Hi Vanessa,
    We love hearing success stories like this!
    Too often, people can get discouraged from online dating because we think it’s not the “norm” and it isn’t natural.
    Our grandparents didn’t meet online, neither did our parents…but online dating these days is pretty normal.
    I bet we all know someone who has met their partner online and nearly all of us have had some experience…good, bad or just hilarious.
    The success stories are always the best ones.
    It gives those who have just given up on online dating a little hope.
    Thanks for sharing!

  3. I met my fiance online too. LOVE online dating!!! Highly recommend it. My one rule? a quick meeting….I would never talk to anyone longer then 2 weeks before arranging a meeting. That way you don’t build a person up to be something they’re not based on what you THINK they are like…not what they are ACTUALLY like. I got along great with some guy online…but when I met them…I knew REAL FAST I would not like to meet them again! lol

  4. Alright, I think I’m a bit behind here, but I figured I’d comment anyway… as an online-dater and slightly as a self-proclaimed technical guru who knows a lot about the internet and being safe online ;)

    I think online dating has its own ups and downs. A lot of times, you meet someone that you might not ever meet…I think that’s a given. At the same time though, that can be both good and bad. I mean, you could find someone who’s definitely your type, perhaps marry that person, and be with them for the rest of your life. On the other hand, you could run into someone who is a bit “crazy” by your own definition, looking for care-free sex with no concern for the other person, or someone looking to take advantage of a situation. For example, my cousin met someone from Europe online, they spent a little bit of time in-person, and got married. They ended up getting divorced, and I sometimes wonder if his intention was to marry a Canadian to gain Canadian citizenship of some sort.

    “Ditto” on the part where you want to throw the computer out the window some days and hug it on others. I won’t tell you where I am on that one :P

    You mentioned Plenty of Fish…. As a guy, I find the hardest part of that website is finding someone who will respond. Putting the effort into the “Hello there” type message, only to get an empty response, is a disappointment. But in defense of the women on the site, I can perfectly understand that they get bombarded with messages from guys. From what I understand, the male population out-numbers the female population on that website. Also, a number of guys probably use the site for “intimate encounters”, and if they actually put that on their profile, they might significantly lower their chances at finding it. As there are a lot of guys listed as looking for something besides intimate encounters but are really looking for just that, I think the “good guys” get lost in the mix. But that’s just my own thoughts.

    I also find that with online dating sites, it’s easy for someone to express an initial interest, but at some point they disappear, leaving you to wonder what happened. Turns out these “disappearing acts” are generally that they have found someone else, and they do not consider it worthwhile to let you know that they’re not interested anymore. I can’t speak for both sides, but I think it’s an issue on both sides.

    I’d take it you have experienced the distance issue between provinces or countries? I have historically tried to keep within driving distance, mainly because I have difficulty seeing how a long-distance relationship can work, especially with next-to-nothing time together.

    The biggest risk I find with online dating is that people find it so easy to put on a mask. Being fake is very easy online, especially if you never have a video call with someone. It’s easy to say that they’re a 20ish 5’6″ athletic professional body-builder into the outdoor life and doesn’t smoke or drink, but when you meet up, they’re actually an unemployed 50ish 4’6″ couch potato smoker / alcoholic who can’t stand going outdoors and watches TV all day long. Never ran into such a case myself, but you get the idea :)

    The only embarrassment I find with it is being found out on it. I have some family that didn’t quite agree with it at first, but I ended up telling them after…and they seem fine by it :)

    • Dear WebsiteGuy,
      What a fantastic comment! We agree, it is very easy to put a mask on when you’re hiding behind a computer screen!
      Online dating can be tricky, but I’ve heard some really great stories that came out of it – good and bad!
      Thanks so much for commenting!

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