Friends with Benefits. Does it work? No!
No offense ladies but with us there is no “no strings attached.” Speaking from personal experience I know that friends with benefits don’t work. Someone develops feelings and if the feelings aren’t reciprocated then the other person’s feelings are hurt.
Although having a no strings attached relationship (can you even call it a relationship?) would be ideal for a perfect world but who are we kidding, there isn’t such a thing! In a perfect world emotions wouldn’t have anything to do with our sexual adventures in the friends with benefits department.
I can’t speak for men but I can speak as a woman and as a woman I’m an emotional wreck, as many of my friends are when it comes to the men in their lives. I’ve been picked up off the floor by my close friends when one of my “NSA” liaisons didn’t work out the way I had planned it in my head. Meaning I went into every situation having it in my head that I wasn’t gonna develop feelings. I was wrong. Oh was I ever.
Depending on whom you ask some would disagree. But I can only speak for myself. Yes, “NSA” is thrilling because you have no commitment but deep in the back of your head there is some type of obligation to that person.
With that being said, I’m still totally on the fence. But as my friend once said to me, I’m gonna fall off the fence and hurt my vag. Along with my heart!
Whatever you decide to do just make sure that you set ground rules and boundaries. And please! Stay within said rules and try not to be crazy!
One of the healthiest and loveliest experiences I’ve ever had has been in a “friends with benefits” situation. I’m pro no strings attached but I am not blind to the fact that not everyone can pull it off.
I was actually surprised that I could.
I’m a bit of a serial monogamist. I am the kind of girl that falls in love and stays there until things stop working. In my mid-twenties, I got into a wonderful “friends with benefits” relationship with a close friend. It went on for about a year with the both of us dating other people and still actively pursuing our “one true love”.
It wasn’t every weekend or even every other weekend but there were many, many hook ups during that time.
We were both very respectful of each other. We already had a great friendship so we were comfortable. No feelings developed that we didn’t already have. We liked each other, enjoyed spending time together and more importantly for the type of relationship we were in, we enjoyed having sex with each other.
For me, someone who feels EVERYTHING and applies some deeper meaning to every moment of my life, it was almost kind of liberating to stop being emotionally overdeveloped and just let things be.
I cannot quite remember how things ended. I know it was not with a big bang(ok maybe it was. haha) I think we slowly let things trickle off. We got into other relationships and stayed in them. We’re still friends to this day and I have no regrets whatsoever.
I think no strings attached can work if you are honest with yourself and each other.
Never get into it expecting it to develop into something bigger and more beautiful. And if you do hope for that, let your friend know. Maybe they are hoping for the same thing. If they aren’t. Don’t attempt it. It won’t work.
I never thought it would be something I could do, but I did and I am very glad I got to experience it.
It’s probably not something I’d get into again, but who knows!
I’m a firm believer that not everything has to last forever, not everything has to be serious. Some really great things can happen when you just let go of all expectations and let things happen.