First of all what is Oral Sex?
Wikipedia defines oral sex as: sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a sex partner by the use of the mouth, tongue, teeth or throat. Cunnilingus refers to oral sex performed on females while fellatio refers to oral sex performed on males. Anilingus refers to oral stimulation of a person’s anus. Oral stimulation of other parts of the body (as in kissing and licking) is usually not considered oral sex.
Many consider it a part of foreplay before sexual intercourse, during or as intercourse and in today’s society, oral sex has become an expected and for some a key part of any relationship.
Now that we know what oral sex is, what would cause hang ups regarding this?
Let’s look at a few of them and what can be done to overcome them or at least try to.
There are many common hang ups with regards to oral sex and they can range from a new relationship to a person’s insecurities.
A new relationship always puts a strain on the couple, getting to know one another’s likes and dislikes, comfort zones. The key to this one is honest and open communication. Ask questions…lots and lots of questions. Ask what they enjoy…keep yourself alert to the sounds your partner makes, to their body actions. This is always a true give away on whether or not they are enjoying themselves. Never assume that something you did in a previous relationship will be what your new partner will like. Never compare (at least not out loud) partners as there will be enough insecurities floating about as it is.
A person’s body shape and size is another thing that we all worry about. Not all female genitals are the same shape or size nor are they flawless, this goes for the male genitals also. Grab a mirror and examine yourself…look at yourself and get to like the way you are, love yourself. If you are insecure it will show, if you are confident with what you look like things become much easier and you become more relaxed. We are all shaped differently which is a good thing because just think how boring it would be if we were all the same!
The biggest hang up regarding oral sex with people would probably have to be the smells and tastes that can come from a person’s body. Although many find the natural scent of arousal from a male or female to be deeply enticing and erotic, other can’t seem to get past them. If you practice proper hygiene and you are not suffering from any sort of medical disorder, then rest assure the smells are natural. And once again, we are all different in this area also. To get past this and depending on the situation, you can always suggest that you shower together first and let the foreplay start in the shower and then move to the bedroom. You are guaranteed to be “clean” then. Not sure on the taste, try adding some flavor. You can get lubricants in just about any flavor imaginable. They are all water based and harmless. You can even get condoms that are flavored , these products will help mask some of the taste’s that you aren’t sure about until you can get past this sort of hang up.
If you are not sure how to properly perform the acts of oral sex, don’t be afraid to do some research to get some ideas. The internet is a wonderful place to start, you can find just about anything on the World Wide Web. Rent an educational video to watch, get some reading material…research ,research, research…and remember the more you get to practice the better you become!!!