Confessing a secret desire can be scary…I know because I’m holding one hostage inside of my head. It’s not that I think that my partner will be weirded out and it’s not that we don’t have the kind of relationship where I can tell him anything. I can spill my guts to him about just about anything and I know he’ll never judge me and I am pretty sure that he loves me because I am strange, so there’s no need to worry about him being weirded out. So, what’s stopping me?
I have an idea.
Once, when I has just turned 19, I had a partner that I told all of my deepest desires to. We were young and experimental and a little wild. We were in love in that way that only 19 year olds can be. Everything was huge and consuming and honest and innocent. I told him a fantasy I had and he was into it as well. We spent a year, experimenting and having great sex and then we broke up and he told everyone all of my secrets. Now, before you get to thinking that I was into something extreme, I wasn’t. It’s just as innocent as blindfolds and handcuffs but my 19 year old self didn’t think so. I was mortified and a million years later, I am still hesitant to bring it up with a partner. In fact, I haven’t shared it since.
But I am as open as one can be and willing to indulge my partner in whatever he so desires, yet, here I sit with my own little fantasy locked up tight inside my head. But, not for long!
Sharing a fantasy can be terrifying. We are all a little scared that our partners won’t share our desires,or worse, that they will judge us. As long as what you want is consensual and safe, there’s nothing to fear. If your partner isn’t into it, your imagination can be your new best friend. I have a date night coming up and I’m planning on getting over my fear and just coming out with it.
I’ll keep you updated!