Ok. I am a little shy when it comes to the S word. Me and my husband have been married for only 3 years and our sex life has totally changed and I feel like he just isn’t into me anymore. I mean, it’s hard when I work 3rd shift and he works 1st to find some US time, but I just don’t know what to do to spice up the relationship. Got any ideas for me?
Communication is so very important in any relationship and I think that is exactly what your relationship needs right now. A big heaping, helping of communication. You need to overcome your shyness for a minute and sit and talk with your partner. I understand that it’s kind of scary to have to do that, but you obviously love your partner or you wouldn’t be trying to fix things! You can do it! We believe in you :)
Just be honest. Tell your husband that you’ve noticed that the two of you aren’t in sync any more and tell him you’d like to work together to change that. Chances are, he’s feeling the same way that you are. Maybe he thinks that you are no longer interested in him either. You both need to talk about why those feelings exist in your lives right now and how you can get rid of them, for good.
Don’t blame each other for anything, just keep an open mind and listen to each other.
It might be nice to sit and plan some date nights or date “minutes” as it seems that the both of you are extremely busy. Or talk about fun, sexy things you can do together. Once you start talking, it will get easier. Keep it light hearted.
This little talk may be the first push the both of you need to start putting some attention and effort back into your marriage.
Becoming complacent and letting a busy life get in the way can be so harmful to a relationship. I always say that a car without care will rust and the same goes for a relationship. Without effort, care and attention, things wither and die. We don’t want that happening to your relationship!
So, after you have this very important talk, you’ll have lots of time and energy to put into actually making an effort. Remember how it felt when the two of you were still dating…right at the very beginning? Try being that woman again. Have spontaneous sex, buy sexy lingerie, be the very best you that you can be. When we become comfortable in a relationship we assume that we don’t need to try any more.
Don’t spend the majority of your time together letting work issues or family grievances take up too much space. Make the moments that you guys are together be quality. Cook together, schedule times to just make out(no sex, just lots of everything else!) Tease each other. Talk about sex more. Pretty soon you’ll both be panting with anticipation.
Talk, plan, then…do!
We will cross our fingers that it all works out for you!