Here’s the scenario: You have a new partner, things are going so well. You’re really happy and completely into this person. The sex is great, but you know how much greater it could be if you could just share all your secret fantasies.Or what about this? You’ve been with your lover for years. You trust them, adore them, have so much fun with them in the bedroom, but you have this tantalizing fantasy that you’re scared to share in case your lover doesn’t like it.
What do you do?
We know that sharing fantasies can be a little nerve-wracking to deal with. What if they think you’re “weird”? Or what if your partner is completely repulsed by your fantasies?
Fantasies are not something we should be ashamed of or worried about. Your fantasies are probably a lot more common than you think. The majority of men and women tend to fantasize about things like sex with celebrities, sex in public, group sex, light bondage…and so on. These fantasies are totally do-able yet they may still be something we feel we should hide.
The more unconventional fantasies are the ones less talked about. It may be easier for your partner to let you know they’d be interested in having a threesome than that they’d be interested in non-consent or rape play.
To fantasize about these things, as conventional or unconventional as they may be can give us a guilt and shame free way to release some sexual energy without the risk of being judged.
Also, some of the reason we may not act or share these fantasies is because the fantasy may just turn out to be less fulfilling than we had imagined. The reason fantasies are so satisfying is because we manipulate them to be exactly how we want them to be…this is why when we actually recreate them in real life, they can often fall a little flat.
If fulfilling your fantasies is something you’re interested in pursuing, there are a lot of great resources on the web for you to check out. Fetlife.com is one of the biggest sites for the ever-growing fetish community, there’s even a group for kinky Newfoundlanders!
You can learn more about all the things you’ve dreamed about and talk to other like minded individuals. It may also be a great place to get tips on how to approach the subject with your partner.
If you’re finally getting up the nerve to confess your innermost desires to your partner, go for it!
You never know…your partner may be more receptive than you think, and maybe you can create new fantasies that you both can share.
Don’t be discouraged if your partner isn’t 100% onboard. Lots of couples have fantasies that they don’t agree on. The most important part is that you can talk and share your secrets with each other…and what’s better than that?