I’m sure we’ve all had a friend proclaim that they have “such a fetish for shoes” or maybe we’ve even said something similar ourselves.
“I totally have a fetish for those delicious cupcakes from Bistro Sofia”
or “My fetish for Kanye West is out of control”
These things are not fetishes. They are simply things that we love very much. Unless you’re masturbating furiously to Kanye’s sweet beats or you’re having a hard time getting turned on by your partner unless they’re feeding you cupcakes, what you are claiming as a fetish is simply nothing more than pure adoration.
A fetish, in case you didn’t know already, is something that sexually turns you on or something that you are sexually preoccupied by. It can be anything really. It can be balloons, feet, latex clothing or perhaps even hamburgers. (Ok, yes it can be hamburgers but perhaps I am the only one in existence that is genuinely turned on by them, no?)
A fetish is not a kink. It’s not just something we desire or want. A fetish is something that one desires so strongly that they usually need it to get aroused, or that most often, their fetish is what gets them going. Not to say that all sex a person is having has to be fuelled by their fetish but above most things, their fetish is what they desire the most.
My own fetish is something that I almost always have to fantasize about to achieve orgasm. I can have amazing sex with my partner without my fetish being involved all of the time and I am incredibly turned on by him without the help of my fetish but when I’m masturbating, my fetish is never not involved. I’ve had this fetish since I was in my teens so it’s not a phase and I don’t consider myself “weird”. It’s something I accept and enjoy and luckily for me, my partner has no problems getting involved in it if I ask nicely!