Something I have heard over and over from friends, co workers and even sometimes from customers is the need to “get back” at a partner for something they’ve done wrong, previously, in the relationship. As the old saying goes “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
How do you feel about this? Do you think it’s ok to punish your partner by giving back what they gave you?
For example, I have a friend who has been in a relationship with a woman for about a year. In the beginning of their relationship, she had a close friendship with another guy that had caused some issues between them and now my friend is constantly trying to strike up intimate friendships with other women to get back at her. He thinks because he was hurt by her actions that he has the right to hurt her back. If someone hurts you, the right response is not to immediately try to hurt them back. The better approach may be to assess the situation, discuss it with your partner, decide if it is something you can recover from and either 1.) end the relationship and move on or 2.) forgive your partner and work at rebuilding your relationship.
The same goes for partners who cheat. Is it at all productive to cheat on a partner to get back at them for cheating on you? It may be easier to just discuss having an open relationship, or split up.
Getting back at someone or reacting to wrongdoings with revenge on your mind may be the worst thing you can do to a relationship.