One of the worst things about dating is sorting through the good and the bad choices. Sometimes we go on a date with someone and wish we hadn’t left the house, so we have a backup plan like a phone call from a friend. I know I for one have used this ruse more than once to avoid awkward moments spent in a Tim Hortons booth. So what is it that makes people run from a date? One of the most common things I hear from friends is the person brought up the “Ex File”. Now I’m sure most of you can guess what this is but just to be sure; the ex file is when you go on a date with someone and all they talk about is their ex. There are at least a hundred ways that an ex can be casually brought up but my pet peeve is the “comparison”. There’s nothing I want to hear less from a date than “you’re so much prettier than ________”. Seriously? I know now that if things don’t go well with us that you’re going to be shooting me down to every girl after me, and I sure as hell don’t want that. As soon as you talk about your ex in a negative way it shifts the mood of the date 100% and all anyone can think about is how you’re obsessed with your ex. First dates are the worst time and place to ever do this. You can almost be guaranteed that you will not be getting a second one.
I’m not saying that it isn’t ok to ever talk to your partner about an ex but it can be seriously uncomfortable for everyone and you don’t do it right away. Dating is supposed to be about getting to know someone, what’s their job, what kind of food do they like, do they have a dog? Not; how long were you in your last relationship, why did it end, what was he/she like? I bet at least half of you reading this are not thinking back to a horrible date that you had where someone did this or even you did! I can also guess that most of the people involved in those horrible memories are not in your life anymore.
Do yourself a favor, leave the ex file closed until your sure you like this person and want to share part of yourself with them. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, that chapter of your life is closed, so don’t let it write your future chapters.