Coming out

   I’ve always been a daddys girl. My first word was dad, my first steps were in his arms, and when I had my first heartbreak he was the one who held me. I’ve always seen my dad as a hero, like an indestructible force that would wipe out all the troubles in my life and keep me safe. That was until the day that I told him I was gay. I think he would have preferred I told him I was a stripper or pregnant, anything but gay. It was the only time in my life that he told me I wasn’t his child. In that moment it felt as if a cannon ball ripped its way through my chest and cut off all my air. How could my hero, the one person I thought would always be there for me, tell me that I wasn’t his because I was gay, because of something I had no control over? I knew he was going to be upset but I never expected the reaction I got. I don’t think he spoke to me for a month at least and even than it was short words, “bye”, “Im going out”, he always managed to leave the house when I went over. For me I think the worst part was not knowing if my dad loved me anymore, because he had stopped telling me.

   After time my dad did start telling me he loved me again but only after his three brothers stepped in. They made him see that I was still the little girl that he raised and that he loved. I had a very rough come out but there are so many people out there who have had it worse. Coming out is never easy but it’s something many of us have to face.

I wanted to share my coming out store with you because this is Pride week. I am proud for many things but mostly because;

I for one am Proud of my dad for letting go of his prejudice and loving me for who I am.

I am Proud of my uncles for standing up to my dad for me when I couldn’t.

I am Proud of my mother for loving me and never choosing sides between her daughter and husband.

I am Proud of my brother for telling me nothing had changed between us.

But most of all I am PROUD of myself. For being brave enough to stand up for who I am. For never backing down in the face of adversity and cowering in fear. I am PROUD to be a lesbian and I am PROUD to be me.

If you should ever have a friend or family member tell you that they are gay please remember, we face adversity every day, we receive judgment from strangers if we hold holds with our partner, we fight for our right to marry and to have children. We don’t want to fight with you. We don’t change because we are gay, we are still the people that you love and cherish. Please accept us for who we are.

XOXO

Asia

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