One of the things you could say about me is that I am a sexually adventurous person. I have a bucket list of sexual things I want to do before I die and I have been slowly working on it throughout my single periods. Now that I’ve been single for a few months and I’m not feeling like I’m connected to anyone else I thought it was a good time to knock a big one off my list; the threesome. I know a lot of people think that’s a fantasy only men have but it was a big one of mine, to be with a man and a woman at the same time. The idea to actually do it came to me after signing up for POF and getting a message from a couple about having a threesome and I thought… Ya ok maybe this is the right time? I mean I had to really think about how I wanted to do it, did I want it to be with a couple, or two single people? Did I want it to be strangers or people I knew? Did I want to tell anyone and did I want to actually do it?!? So when this couple messaged me and I had no idea who they were other then that they were in their 30s and attractive I thought ya this is the right setting for me. So I said yes. I’ve been asked many times before (because I’m bisexual) and I’ve always said no but this time the circumstances were right I guess.
Leading up to the big night I heard a lot of different things from friends and co-workers like “Good for you” “Why am I not surprised” “Your gonna break up a marriage” “I think its wrong” etc. I mean everyone was very divided on the subject and it made for a lot of debate. I mean of course we were curious as to how it would work, the group dynamic all of that. The one thing that kinda bothered me a little was the idea that I could come between this couple but when I sat down to really think about it I realized hey if its not me, it’s gonna be someone else. This is a sexually open couple who enjoys other couples and sometimes solo females, so I haven’t changed their dynamic in anyway. When I sat down to talk to them about why they were into adding people to their sex life they both said it was simply for fun. They enjoy being adventurous and that life is too short to spend it enjoying only one person. I mean realistically monogamy only occurs typically in 10 animal species and humans, which isn’t a lot. Heterosexuality and monogamy are ideas that really only humans obsess over. I honestly feel like I felt pressured NOT to have a 3some just because of other peoples ideas which is never ok. One thing I’ve learned from this experience is as long as everything is consensual and legal there is no reason to hold back from things you want.
To be completely honest though I had a friend come over as I was getting ready to help talk me into it and have a drink because I was feeling very nervous. I actually started to have a mini panic attack before she left thinking that I couldn’t do it because all of the negative things everyone said started to overwhelm my head and then I wasn’t sure if I was capable of being with two people at once. I got over it though after my big moment of fear and some slow breathing and after sitting down with them I felt much better. I think it was a good idea choosing a couple who had done it before because they led me through it in a comfortable way. I think its defiantly important to find a couple who is open because it made me feel more comfortable that they already had their own rhythm down.
To be completely honest I feel like my threesome was the most honest sexual experience I ever had. There was something amazing about being with two people at the same time. I thought it would be awkward and someone would feel left out, or that they would have some weird dynamic or rules but it was completely fun and exciting. I mean I still have a stupid grin on my face thinking of how amazing the experience was and that I’m so glad I didn’t give in to the negative opinions of others or my own doubts. So really I guess what I’m saying is do something crazy, do something wild, do whatever it is you desire. If its legal and consensual there’s no reason for you to not fulfill your own devious thoughts. Make a bucket list with yourself or with your partner and don’t stop until you’ve reached the end. Then make a new one ;) Life is for living and our time is limited so you should do whatever it is you want to do, and never let the opinions of others hold you back.