When you start dating someone new the question arises, when do you have sex? When do you get in bed with someone for the first time? Let’s be honest, when you find someone attractive you analyze them and how you think they’d be in bed. We choose who to date based on what we find attractive. Eventually we know that we’re going to end up dating the person, but what makes you feel likeyou’re ready or not ready to sleep with the person?
There are certain pressures put on us women by society to wait, don’t give it up or you’re ‘easy’. For various reasons; religious, moral, social, people
believe that women who have sex with a stranger or someone they haven’t known long are ‘sluts’. Some men won’t take a girl seriously or consider her ‘date-able’ if she gives it up too easily, but if they are willing to sleep with her isn’t it the same thing? Why do we put so much stock into what other people think about us and our sexual lives? I used to believe that it shouldn’t matter what other people think only what you think and when you feel ready but there is a simple consideration that makes it easier; ask your partner.
Since I’ve been back in the dating world I’ve realized that sex can either make or break a new relationship. When I dated women I don’t remember having this intense pressure on me to choose when to sleep with them, it was more of a mutual thing. However with men I feel like its my choice, they’re ready whenever so if I give it up too soon I’m a slut and if I wait too long I’m a wet blanket. I have to admit dating men now feels worse then it did 10 years ago when I stopped.
To be honest last night I asked Kirk (the guys Ive dated a little bit) when it was acceptable to have sex without him thinking I’m easy. I honestly didn’t know any other way to go about it then to outright tell him that I didn’t turn him down because I didn’t want to have sex but because I want to make sure it doesn’t end what we’re doing. Apparently we’ve reached the point where he is fine having sex without it meaning that I’m too easy but I’m going to make him wait a few more days for extra measure! Lol.
In the end the choice of when to have sex is always in your hands and no one else’s. You have to be comfortable in your decision no matter what one you made but it does make it a little easier if you have the input of the other person. If you don’t feel comfortable asking them in person, ask in a text. Once everyone is on the same page it makes things a little easier.
Happy fun sex time darlings <3