Q&A Answers!

Good morning, everyone!
You sent them, it’s time to answer!!!


1) My partner and I want to start trying anal. She has lost of vibrators already, do I really have to buy an anal toy? 

If the toy doesn’t have a flared base, DON’T USE IT! The important thing that separates an anal toy from any other adult toy is that it has some kind of flared base or loop at the bottom that’s designed to keep the toy from disappearing inside of you. “Sex Brought Me to the ER” is a very real show, with very real consequences! If a toy doesn’t have a base, it runs the risk of going missing inside of you – where some cases medical intervention may be involved.

Do yourself a favor, always use a toy with a base. Like the ones showed below!


2) I can’t ever seem to orgasm when my boyfriend and I have sex – I do during oral though! Is this normal?

It’s more normal than you think! Around 70-80 percent of women can only achieve orgasm during clitoral stimulation. If you want to start orgasming during penetrative sex, there are claims that strengthening your pelvic floor by doing kegel exercises might help. There haven’t been any studies that prove this indefinitely, but a lot of women who exercise their kegels claim that they have better sex and vaginal orgasms!

Alternatively,  use your or your partners hand during sex to stimulate the clitoris – this extra manual stimulation can prove to be just what you need. Even a small vibrating toy between you can give the sensations you need – just let your partner know that you want to experiment!

3) I don’t really like vibration are there other toys I can try?

Absolutely! These days companies are coming out with more and more unique options for toys! While a lot of toys still come with vibrating options, you can choose whether or not to use them! Some examples of good toys to try if you dislike vibration are:

Suction Toys

These toys simulate oral sex through suction! Some (like the womanizer), use both a light suction and pulsating waves to stimulate which is an entirely different feeling than vibration, while others (like the Hiky) use a powerful suction motion only with vibration options if you want them!


Find the Hiky Here!


Find the Womanizer Here!

Roller Balls

These toys use rotating balls to stimulate the clitoris instead of traditional vibration. The balls move in a variety of patterns and speeds and create a similar sensation to that of exploring fingers. The Embrace line of roller toys are a great example!


Find the Embrace Swirl Massager Here!

That’s all we have time for today, but if you have any other questions be sure to save them for the next time we do Q&A!


Q&A Answers!

Good morning, everyone!
You sent them, it’s time to answer!!!


1) Sometimes during sex, I feel like my vagina loosens. Is there anything I can do to make it tighter?

Kegel exercises help your vagina muscles like lifting weights helps the other areas of your body to become strong! Kegel exercises aren’t only great for preventing incontinence and helping your pelvic floor – they also make sex better too! Once those muscles are strengthened, it can lead to a tighter feeling and more intense orgasms! The lucky thing about Kegel exercises is that they’re easy, you can do them anywhere, and you don’t need any fancy tools (though you can use them if you want).

Basically, all you have to do is tighten your pelvic floor muscles – and easy way to tell which muscle this is, is to stop peeing mid stream. Did you cut off urination? That’s the muscle you want to squeeze! From there, all you have to do is hold, and release. The rule of thumb is to squeeze, hold for 5 seconds, then release for 5 seconds. Repeat for up to half an hour (they say 30 minutes of exercise 3x a week is best). As you use the muscles more, they’ll begin to strengthen, and you can practice holding the intervals for longer. 10, 15, 30 seconds and up!

If you like, once that’s done you can get help by a vaginal weight to really use those muscles!

2) My boyfriend likes to watch porn. Is it a bad thing? Should I be worried?

Honestly, many women having feelings of jealousy or dislike towards their partners porn watching, but it’s very rarely anything to worry about. Some people are more visual creatures than others, and men tend to fall into the category. Women tend to be more mentally stimulated – it’s just how we’re wired! Now, that being said, not every man falls into that category, nor women to the other, but as a general rule of thumb that’s how it works. The only time you really have to worry is when your partner begins to let porn watching disrupt their daily life. If they miss work due to watching pornography, if they ignore you or their friends and family in favor it.

Other than that it’s not a bad thing, and you definitely shouldn’t be worried!

3) I get very “wet” during sex. Am I normal?

100%! In fact, I might go so far as to say that you’re very lucky. A lot of women struggle with self lubrication – especially once menopause begins to sink in. There are a lot of reasons why you might get wetter, including the time of your cycle and level of arousal, but it’s rarely a bad thing to be more wet than what is normal.

That’s all we have time for today, but if you have any other questions be sure to save them for the next time we do Q&A!


For the last time

I started writing blogs for Our Pleasure back in September of 2013 and my very first one was “Don’t you put it in your mouth”. Over the last 18 months I’ve opened up to you all, we’ve talked about abuse, sex, illness’s, desire, beauty, pubic hair, rape, enhancers, bondage; we’ve talked about it all! I’ve shared pieces of myself with you and in return you’ve opened yourselves up to me with questions and comments. I’ve had an amazing time writing for myself and for you but this will be the last blog that I do. I am leaving Our Pleasure for a new career with a heavy heart but I am so glad that I had this opportunity. I’ve learned so much in my time here and I can’t wait to read the new blogs that come out after me, I’m sure you’re all excited too!

While they are waiting to find someone to take over the blog there will be a few weeks with nothing posted but stay tuned because there is lots more to come!

I’ve compiled a list of my favorite to 10 blogs that I’ve written since being here, I hope you enjoy them!

For the last time Darlings




Don’t you put it in your mouth September 2, 2013


One Night (I don’t under)Stand November 18, 2013


Myth Busters OP Style April 25th, 2014


Two Great Loves March 28, 2014


The Ex Files June 9 2014


I’m Sorry Miss Mack August 15 2014


80/20 Rule July 7 2014


Is three a crowd?


To Bush or not to Bush


I can’t make you love me, but I do



Lady Marmalade


Favorite Lyrics:

We independent women, some mistake us for wh*res
I’m sayin‘, why spend mine when I can spend yours
Disagree? Well that’s you and I’m sorry
Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari
wearing high heel shoes, getting love from the dudes
4 bad ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge

Final Thoughts:

To be honest I completely forgot about this song or it would have been much sooner on the list! You’ve got 4 singers from very different styles and backgrounds singing about sex, sex for money, sex for diamonds and sex for pleasure. This song came out in 2001 as part of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack and received a lot of negative response due to the intense sexuality of it. It was said that Lil’ Kim’s style made the song trashy and ruined the original song by Patti Labelle but to me it added a new style. “Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir”.


Good morning, darlings!
It’s question and answer time!


so, just wondering, me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 2 months now, things have been happening alot lately, and i was wondering if its too soon to be thinkin bout sex.. 

i’m almost 17 and a virgin and hes not pressuring me or anything, i brought it up first

Well darling if you are questioning if it’s too soon then I would wait. I lost my virginity when I was 13 and not to sound cliché but I still wish that I had of saved it until I was older and more capable of making the decision. Once you give your virginity to someone its gone; you don’t get another chance so you want to make sure it’s with someone that you care for. My first experience was with a guy I dated for a little bit and then realized I didn’t like. If your partner is not pressuring you then maybe you should wait until you’re both sure; keep in mind that it’s his decision as well. I’m not telling you to make sure he’s the “one” but make sure he’s the one you want to lose your virginity to because you will remember him for the rest of your life. There’s nothing wrong with waiting; you’ve got your whole life to experience the sexual side of things; enjoy being young.


The wife and I were eating out with a few friends. And they spoke about a drug called “thizz” from research i guess it’s just another name of ectasy. I guess on this Thizz, one goes for many hours having sex due to it makes the sensitivity of sex more pleasurable i guess. Well knowing that it’s close to ectasy, it scares me. So what drug would do basically that. Or is “thizz” not as bad as ectasy? 

Ok so I’ve looked online to see what this “thizz” drug is and to be honest I knew it was a bad idea as soon as I read your question. Thizz is a pill containing MDMA and often combinations of other drugs such as caffeine, speed, etc. Typically sold in colored tablets with a printed logo it is essentially ecstasy with additives. I’ve never understood why people take illegal drugs to have crazy sex when you can just have crazy sex sober. If you need something to help you perform in the bedroom then I would recommend talking to your doctor about Viagra or Cialis. We also carry a product called Forta which works naturally with your body to increase the male hormone for sperm production. It also stimulates the body naturally and improves blood flow. Forta will also improve your response time, resulting in quick, strong, and more frequent erections for a fortified sexual performance. If you are thinking of trying a pill enhancement I would give Forta a try, not only is it legal; it’s cheaper to!


Hope this helps :)


Weekly Q & A

Dear darlings,
Do you have a burning question that you’re too shy to ask?
Have something that has been on your mind for ages but you don’t quite know how to say it? If you’re alive and you’re human, you probably have questions about sex.  The truth is, no one can know everything there is to know about sex and sexuality.  Here at Our Pleasure, we learn new things every day! We are not doctors or relationship gurus, but we will try our best to give you the best advice we can give!

Leave all your questions about sex, sexuality, sexual health, birth control, STI’s, and relationships here and we’ll answer them each Wednesday! We’ll try to answer three questions, if we don’t get to yours this week, don’t fear, we’ll just carry it over to next week!

(If you don’t want to leave your real email address, you don’t have to.  No problem!  Simply type in a fake email address)


Hi guys! I really need to learn to keep up with all the blogs that are being written..

Anywho, the other day I was sitting down and watching some TV with my mom. As the commercials began during a break, I ignored almost all of them like one normally would; but although I wasn’t watching the TV, I couldn’t help but hear a particular theme going on..

Minutes passed, and I waited for the next commercial break – this time I paid attention. Now, ignoring all the car, Wal Mart, and febreeze ads, I took mental note of the Dove commercial promoting their self esteem awareness campaign. And I think it’s a great campaign which encourages girls of every age (not that it should be limited to just girls) to love themselves and their bodies. It’s beautiful, it’s touching, it’s strong.

And then the onslaught began.

Join weightwatchers now for the body you want. Joining Goodlife gym means you will have a good life. Make your lashes look 678% more full with this mascara. Hide your blemishes or wrinkles with this foundation. It didn’t stop for a solid five minutes! Any other day I wouldn’t have noticed just how overwhelming these advertisements are but when I really paid attention; holy crap.

Now the last thing I want to do is come across as a self righteous better-than-your-products-I-love-me person, because I’m not. I use make up, I’ve joined the gym (and quit because who has time for that), and I’ve even been convinced by the TV to buy a special facial cream that promised to get rid of the freckles that my mother and boyfriend love so much (I still have them (: ). So by no means I am going to preach about how you should not buy any of these products. But at the same time does it not feel like they are trying to tell us that we are not good enough unless we use their product? Not pretty enough, not fit enough, your skin isn’t what it should be, ETC.

I ranted about this to my mother and even my manager for a little bit and they both understood where I was coming from when I say that it’s just very overwhelming they they’re promoting change rather than acceptance. But they both brought up very valid points about these ads that made me ease up a little bit;

  1. “How the hell do you think they make their money, Layla?” Okay, very true. Of course they’re going to advertise that you can look %100 times better if you use what they make rather than nothing at all. They research what people are trying to change about themselves the most – and that would be their appearance. So why not make products that can help ease into that change?
  1. Self esteem comes from feeling good. My mother looked at me and asked if I felt good after putting on a nice outfit and a fresh face of makeup. Obviously the answer was of course I do. And then she just looked at me.. and I stared back. Finally, she huffed and then explained it to me; People do whatever it is they like to make themselves feel good. And when it comes to self esteem, people tend to have a higher one if they’re wearing something they like, it they are in the shape that they want to be, and so on.

Mother strikes again. She was very right. But that doesn’t mean I still agree with all of the advertisements promoting that your life sucks without “this” product in your life. So I guess what it is that I’m trying to say is that if you want to purchase what they’re selling to feel good – absolutely go for it. If that foundation makes you feel beautiful, buy it. If those apple bottom jeans make you feel bootylicious, buy them.

You do not need these things, but you need to feel good about yourself. Just please do not let these products or advertisements make you think that you are not beautiful enough without them.

So I would like to know what all the readers think of advertising and self-esteem. Leave your comments! I’ll make sure to read all of them .





Favorite Lyrics:

(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was looking so good I couldn’t reject myself
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was feeling so good I had to touch myself
(I looked over to the left)
Umm I was eyein my thighs butter pecan brown
(I looked over to the left)
Umm comin outta my shirt and then the skirt came down

Final Thoughts:

This has got to be one of my favorite sexual songs released by women! I love that this song is all about masturbation, being attracted to yourself, and taking your pleasure in your own hands; literally. I’ve always been an advocate for masturbation; it’s important to know how to pleasure yourself but also to take time to de-stress. The better you know your own body, the better you can please it.